


Heatherstuck

by kraefandoms



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Homestuck
Genre: It's Heathers, but with Homestuck, canon complaint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-10 00:37:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 8,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18649354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kraefandoms/pseuds/kraefandoms
Summary: S3PT3MB3R F1RST, 1989, D34R D14RY:1 B3L13V3 1'M 4 GOOD P3RSON. YOU KNOW, 1 TH1NK TH4T TH3R3'S GOOD 1N 3V3RYON3, BUT—H3R3 W3 4R3! F1RST D4Y OF S3N1OR Y34R! 4ND UH... 1 LOOK 4ROUND 4T TH3S3 TROLLS TH4T 1'V3 KNOWN 4LL MY L1F3 4ND 1 4SK MYS3LF—WH4T H4PP3N3D?





	1. Beautiful

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : S3PT3MB3R F1RST, 1989, D34R D14RY:

1 B3L13V3 1'M 4 GOOD P3RSON. YOU KNOW, 1 TH1NK TH4T TH3R3'S GOOD 1N 3V3RYON3, BUT—H3R3 W3 4R3! F1RST D4Y OF S3N1OR Y34R! 4ND UH... 1 LOOK 4ROUND 4T TH3S3 TROLLS TH4T 1'V3 KNOWN 4LL MY L1F3 4ND 1 4SK MYS3LF—WH4T H4PP3N3D?

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!

 

Terezi: We were so tiny, happy and shiny

Playing tag and getting chased

 

Chorus: Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!

 

Terezi: Singing and clapping, laughing and napping

Baking cookies, eating paste

 

Chorus: Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!

 

Terezi: Then we got bigger, that was the trigger

Like the Huns invading Rome

_ Spoken _

UGH! OH, SORRY!

_ Sung _

Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school:

This is the Thunderdome

Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon

 

Chorus: White trash!

 

Terezi: College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June!

But I know, I know, life can be beautiful

I pray, I pray for a better way

If we changed back then, we could change again

We can be beautiful...

 

_ Kanaya knocks Sollux to the floor. _

 

Sollux: ow!!

 

Terezi,  _ sung _ : Just not today

 

_ Spoken _

H3Y, 4R3 YOU OK4Y?

 

Sollux: get away, nerd

 

Terezi: OH, OK4Y.

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!

 

Terezi: Things will get better soon as my letter

Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown

Wake from this coma, take my diploma

Then I can blow this town

Dream of ivy-covered walls and smoky French cafés

 

_ Terezi jostles Equius Zahhak. _

 

Equius,  _ spoken _ : D→ Watch it!

 

Terezi,  _ sung _ : Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!

 

_ Equius upends Terezi’s lunch tray. _

 

Equius,  _ spoken _ : D→ Ooooops.

 

Terezi: 3QU1US Z4HH4K. TH1RD Y34R 4S L1N3B4CK3R 4ND 31GHTH Y34R OF SM4CK1NG LUNCH TR4YS 4ND B31NG 4 HUG3 D1CK

 

Equius: D→ What did you say to me, green-b100d?

 

Terezi: 44H, NOTH1NG!

 

_Sung_

| 

Chorus:  
  
---|---  
  
But I know, I know...

| 

I know, I know...  
  
Life can be beautiful

| 

Beautiful  
  
I pray, I pray

| 

I pray, I pray  
  
For a better way

| 

For a better way  
  
We were kind before;

| 

Oooh...  
  
We can be kind once more

| 

Oooh...  
  
We can be beautiful...

| 

Oooh... Beautiful...  
  
_ Aradia approaches. _

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : 4GH!... H3Y 4R4D14

 

Aradia: hey

 

_ Aradia helps Terezi pick up her lunch tray. _

 

Terezi:  4R4D14 M3G1DO. MY MO1R41L S1NC3 WR1GGL3RS

 

Aradia: we 0n f0r m0vie night?

 

Terezi: Y34H, YOU'R3 ON POPCORN D3T41L

 

Aradia: i rented “the r0yal matesprit."

 

Terezi: HO-HO-HO, 4G41N? W41T, DON'T YOU H4V3 1T M3MOR1Z3D BY NOW?

 

Aradia: what can i say? i'm a sucker f0r a happy ending

 

Gamzee: ArAdIa MeGa-WhOrE! Honnnnnk!

 

_ Gamzee Makara knocks the tray from Aradia’s hands. _

 

Gamzee: HaHaAa!

 

Terezi: G4MZ33 M4K4R4. QU4RT3RB4CK. H3 1S TH3 SM4RT3ST TROLL ON TH3 FOOTB4LL T34M. WH1CH 1S K1ND OF L1K3 B31NG TH3 T4LL3ST DW4RF.

 

Gamzee: HaHa! AlRiGhT!

 

Terezi: H3Y! P1CK TH4T UP! R1GHT NOW!

 

Gamzee: I'm SoRrY, aRe YoU aCtUaLlY tAlKiNg To Me?

 

Terezi: Y3S, 1 4M. 1 W4NN4 KNOW WH4T G1V3S YOU TH3 R1GHT TO P1CK ON MY MO1R41L. YOU'R3 4 H1GH SCHOOL H4S-B33N W41T1NG TO H4PP3N. 4 FUTUR3 SP4C3 SH1P R3FU3L3R.

 

Gamzee: ...YoU hAvE a ZiT rIgHt ThErE...

 

_ Gamzee and Chorus laugh. _

 

Terezi: D34R D14RY:

 

_ Sung _

Why....

 

Sollux: Why do they hate me?

 

Rose: Why don’t I fight back?

 

Gamzee: Why do I act like such a creep?

 

Terezi: Why…

 

Aradia: Why won’t he date me?

 

Equius: Why did I hit him?

 

Nepeta, Ms. Leijon & Kanaya: Why do I cry myself to sleep?

 

Terezi: Why…

 

Chorus: Somebody hug me!

Somebody fix me!

Somebody save me!

 

Terezi & Chorus: Send me a sign, God!

Give me some hope, here!

Something to live for!

 

_ The three Highbloods enter. _

 

Chorus: Ahh! Vriska, Feferi, and Eridan!

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : 4ND TH3N TH3R3'S TH3 H1GHBLOODS. TH3Y FLO4T 4BOV3 1T 4LL

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : I love Vriska, Feferi, and Eridan.

 

Terezi, _spoken_ :

| 

Chorus, _sung_ :  
  
---|---  
  
F3F3R1 P31X3S, H34D CH33RL34DE3R. H3R LUSUS 1S LO4D3D—SH3 S3LLS QU4DR4NT R1NGS.

| 

I hate Vriska, Feferi, and Eridan.  
  
3R1D4N 4MPOR4, RUNS TH3 Y34RBOOK. NO D1SC3RN1BL3 P3RSON4L1TY, BUT H1S LUSUS D1D P4Y FOR 1MPL4NTS.

| 

I want Vriska, Feferi, and Eridan.  
  
4ND VR1SK4 S3RK3T, TH3 4LM1GHTY

SH3 1S 4 MYTH1C B1TCH.

| 

I need Vriska, Feferi—  
  
Terezi: TH3Y'R3 SOL1D T3FLON—N3V3R BOTH3R3D, N3V3R H4R4SS3D

1 WOULD G1V3 4NYTH1NG TO B3 L1K3 TH4T

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : Mmmm...

 

Sollux,  _ spoken _ : ii'd liike to bee theiir mate2priit

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : That would be beautiful...

Mmmm...

 

Nepeta,  _ spoken _ : :33< If I sat at their table, trolls would notice me

 

Chorus,  _ sung:  _ So beautiful...

Ooooh...

 

Aradia,  _ spoken _ : i'd like them t0 be nicer

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : That would be beautiful...

Ooooh...

 

Tavros,  _ spoken _ : i'D LIKE TO KIDNAP A hIGHBLOOD,, aND UH,, aND PHOTOGRAPH THEM NAKED IN AN ABANDONED WAREHOUSE,, aND LEAVE THEM TIED UP FOR THE,, uHH,,  sQUEAKBEASTS

 

_ Terezi enters the bathroom. Vriska and Feferi are watching Eridan vomit into a ablution trap. _

 

Vriska: Grow up, Eridan. 8ulimia is so '87.

 

Feferi: Maybe you s)(ould see a mediculler, -Eridan.

 

Eridan: Yeah, Fef. Maybe I should

 

Ms. Leijon: Ah, Vriska and Feferi.

 

_ Eridan vomits. _

...and Eridan. Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting. You're late for class

 

_ Terezi scribbles on a piece of paper. _

 

Vriska: Eridan wasn't feeling well. We're helping him.

 

Ms. Leijon: Not without a hall pass, you're not. Week's detention

 

Terezi: UM, 4CTU4LLY, MS. L31JON, 4LL FOUR OF US 4R3 OUT ON 4 H4LL P4SS. Y34RBOOK COMM1TT33

 

Ms. Leijon: ...I see you're all listed. Hurry up and get where you're going

 

Vriska: This is an 8xcellent forgery. Who are you?

 

Terezi: UH... T3R3Z1 PYROP3. 1 CR4V3 4 BOON

 

Vriska: What 8oon?

 

Terezi: UM. L3T M3 S1T 4T YOUR T4BL3, 4T LUNCH. JUST ONC3. NO T4LK1NG N3C3SS4RY. 1F P3OPL3 TH1NK TH4T YOU GUYS TOL3R4T3 M3, TH3N TH3Y'LL L34V3 M3 4LON3...

 

_ Highbloods laugh. _

 

B3FOR3 YOU 4NSW3R, 1 4LSO DO R3PORT C4RDS, P3RM1SS1ON SL1PS, 4ND 4BS3NC3 NOT3S

 

Eridan: Howw about prescriptions?

 

Vriska: Shut up, Eridan.

 

Eridan: Sorry, VVris

 

_ Vriska inspects Terezi’s face. _

 

Vriska: For a greasy little no8ody, you do have good 8one structure

 

Feferi: And a symmetrical face. If I took a trident down the center of your skull, I'd )(ave matching )(alves. That's very important

 

Eridan: Of course, you could stand to lose a feww pounds

 

Vriska,  _ sung: _ And ya know, ya know, ya know?

This could be beautiful

Mascara, maybe some lip gloss

And we're on our way

Get this girl some blush;

And Feferi, I need your brush

Let's make her beautiful

 

Feferi: Let's make her beautiful...

 

Eridan: Let's make her beautiful...

 

Vriska: Make her beautiful...

 

_ Spoken _

Ok8y?

 

Terezi: OK4Y!

 

Gamzee,  _ sung _ : Out of my way, geek!

 

Tavros: I don't want trouble—

 

Equius: You're gonna die at 3pm!

 

Rose and Jade: Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!

 

Tavros: What did I ever do to them?

 

Chorus: Who could survive this?

I can't escape this!

I think I'm dying!

 

Ms. Leijon: Who's that with the Highbloods?

 

_ The Highbloods enter again... _

 

Chorus,  _ spoken _ : Whoa

_ Sung _

Vriska, Feferi, Eridan...

 

Jade: And someone!

 

Chorus: Vriska, Feferi, Eridan...

 

John and Dave: And a babe!

 

Chorus: Vriska, Feferi, Eridan...

 

Aradia,  _ spoken _ : terezi?!

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : Terezi? Terezi? Terezi?!

 

_ The Highbloods part, revealing a smoking hot Terezi who has been given a makeover. _

 

Terezi, _sung_ :

| 

Chorus, _sung_ :  
  
---|---  
  
And you know, you know, you know

| 

Ooohhhh!  
  
Life can be beautiful

| 

Aaahhh! Beautiful!  
  
You hope, you dream, you pray

| 

Ooohhhh!  
  
And you get your way!

| 

Aaahhh!  
  
Ask me how it feels

| 

Beautiful!  
  
Lookin' like hell on wheels...

| 

Ooohhhh!  
  
My God, it's beautiful!

| 

Aaahhh! Beautiful!  
  
I might be beautiful...

| 

Beautiful!  
  
And when you're beautiful...

| 

Aaahhh!  
  
It's a beautiful frickin' dayyy!

 

Chorus: Vriska! Feferi! Eridan! Terezi!

Vriska! Feferi! Eridan! Terezi!

Terezi! Terezi! Terezi!

Tereziiiii!


	2. Candy Store

Vriska,  _ spoken _ : Are we g8nna have a pro8lem?

You got a 8one to pick?

You’ve come so f8r,

Why now are you pulling on my 8ulge?

I’d normally sl8p your f8ce off,

And everyone here could w8tch.

But I’m feeling nice.

Here’s some advice.

Listen up, 8yatch!

 

Eridan and Feferi,  _ sung _ : I like!

 

Vriska: Lookin’ hot

Buying stuff they cannot

 

Eridan and Feferi: I like!

 

Vriska: Drinkin’ hard

Maxin’ Mom’s credit card

 

Feferi and Eridan: I like!

 

Vriska: Skippin’ gym

Scaring her

Pailing him

 

Feferi and Eridan: I like!

 

Vriska: Killer clothes

 

Highbloods: Kickin’ nerds in the nose!

 

Vriska: If you lack the balls

You can go play dolls

Let your lusus fix you a snack

 

Feferi and Eridan: Woah!

 

Vriska: Or you could come smoke

Pound some rum and coke

In my Porsche with the quarterback

 

Highbloods: Woah! Woah! Woah!

Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?

Welcome to my candy store

It’s time for you to prove

You’re not a loser anymore

Then step into my candy store

 

Vriska and Feferi: Trolls fall

 

Eridan: At your feet

Pay the check

 

Feferi: Help you cheat

 

Highbloods: All you

 

Eridan: Have to do

 

Vriska:Say goodbye to lowbloods

 

Highbloods: That freak’s

 

Feferi: Not your friend

I can tell in the end

 

Highbloods: If she

 

Feferi: Had your shot

 

Highbloods: She would leave you to rot

 

Feferi: ‘Course if you don’t care

Fine! Go braid her hair

Maybe wriggler cartoons are on

 

Highbloods: Woah!

 

Feferi: Or forget the creep

 

Eridan: And get in my jeep

 

Vriska: Let’s go tear up someone’s lawn

 

Highbloods: Woah! Woah! Woah!

Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?

Welcome to my candy store

You just gotta prove

You’re not a pussy anymore

Then step into my candy store

 

Vriska: You can join the team

 

Feferi and Eridan: Or you can bitch and moan

 

Vriska: You can live the dream

 

Feferi and Eridan:

Or you can die alone

 

Vriska: You can fly with eagles

 

Highbloods: Or if you prefer

 

Vriska: Keep on testing me

 

Feferi and Eridan: And end up like her!

 

Aradia,  _ spoken _ : terezi, l00k!

equius invited me t0 his hivec0ming party.

this pr0ves he’s been thinking ab0ut me.

 

Terezi: COLOR M3 STOK3D.

 

Aradia: i’m s0 happy!

 

Highbloods: Woah!

 

Eridan:

Honey, whachu waiting fo—

 

Vriska: SHUT UP ERIDAN

Step into my candy store 

Oooh woah! 

Woah oh oh!

 

Eridan and Feferi:

Woah! Time for you to prove

You’re not a lame ass anymore 

 

Highbloods: Then step into my candy store

It’s my candy store

It’s my candy

It’s my candy store

It’s my candy

It’s my candy store

It’s my candy store!!


	3. Fight For Me

Chorus, sung: Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!   
Terezi: Why when you see trolls fight does it look so horrible  
Yet feel so right  
I shouldn't watch this crap that's not who I am but for this troll, damn  
Hey, Mr. No Name Troll  
Say who might you be?  
And could you fight for me  
Hey could you face the crowd  
Could you be seen with me and still act proud  
Hey could you hold my hand  
And could carry me through No Troll’s Land  
It's fine if you don't agree  
But I would fight for you  
if you would fight for me  
Let them drive us underground  
I don't care how far  
You can set my broken bones and I know CPR  
Well, woah, you can punch real good  
You've lasted longer than I thought you would  
So hey, Mr. No Name Troll  
If some night you're free

Terezi:  
Wanna fight for me?  
If you’re still alive  
I would fight for you  
If you would fight for me  
Chorus:  
Holy shit  
Holy shit  
Holy shit, holy shit  
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit  
Holy shit


	4. Freeze Your Pan

Karkat,  _ sung _ : I've been through ten high schools.

They start to get blurry.

No point in planting your roots,

'Cause you're gone in a hurry.

My lusus keeps two suitcases packed in the den,

So it's only a matter of when.

I don't learn the names,

Don't bother with faces.

All I can trust is this concrete oasis.

Seems every time I'm about to despair,

There's a 7-11 right there.

Each store is the same,

from Alternia to Space,

Linoleum aisles that I love

to get lost in.

I pray at my altar of slush;

Yeah I live for that sweet frozen rush…

 

_ Karkat takes a sip and grimaces. _

 

Freeze your pan.

Suck on that straw, get lost in the pain.

Happiness comes when everything numbs.

Who needs cocaine?

Freeze your pan.

Freeze your pan...

 

_ Karkat offers the Slurpee to Terezi. _

 

Karkat,  _ spoken _ : CARE FOR A HIT?

 

Terezi: DO3S YOUR D4NC3STOR KNOW YOU 34T 4LL TH1S CR4P?

 

Karkat: NOT ANYMORE.

_ Sung: _

When Kankri was alive,

We lived halfway normal,

But now it's just me and my lusus, we're less formal.

I learned to cook pasta, I learned to pay rent;

Learned the world doesn't owe you a cent.

You're planning your future, Terezi Pyrope,

You'll go to some college, and marry a neophyte.

But the sky's gonna hurt when it falls.

So you better start building some walls...

Freeze your pan.

Swim in the ice,

Get lost in the pain.

Shut your eyes tight, till you vanish from sight,

Let nothing remain 

Freeze your pan,

Shatter your skull,

Fight pain with more pain.

Forget who you are, unburden your load,

Forget in six weeks you'll be back on the road.

When the voice in your pan says you're better off dead,

Don't open a vein

Just freeze your pan,

Freeze your pan,

Go on and freeze your pan…

_ Spoken _

TRY IT.


	5. Big Fun

Equius,  _ sung _ : Lusus says "Act your age."

You heard it man, it's time to rage!

 

Chorus: Blast the bass, turn out the lights

 

Highbloods: Ain't nobody at the hive tonight!

 

Equius: Drink, smoke, it's all cool.

Let's get naked in my pool!

 

Chorus: Punch the wall and start a fight!

Ain't nobody at the hive tonight!

 

Gamzee: His lusus got a waterbed.

Come upstairs and rest your pan.

 

Equius: Let's rub each other's backs

While watching porn on Cinemax!

 

Chorus: The lusii are gone,

It's time for big fun! Big fun!

We're up till sunset

Having some big fun! Big fun!

When the lusii forget to lock the liquor cabinet,

It's big fun! Big fun!

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : SO W41T, 1T'S L1M3, TH3N S4LT, TH3N SHOT?

 

Feferi: No, salt, then -

 

Vriska: You're doing it wrong!

 

Terezi: R34LLY? 'C4US3 1 F33L GR34T.

 

Gamzee: TeReZi, YoU'rE lOoKiNg GoOd ToNiGhT!

 

Terezi: WHO4.

_ Sung _

A hot guy smiled at me, without a trace of mockery!

 

Chorus: Everyone's high as a kite,

Ain't nobody at the hive tonight!

 

Terezi: Stoned. Zoned. I should quit...

Hey, is that weed? I want a hit.

 

Chorus: Fill that joint and roll it tight,

Ain't nobody home tonight!

 

Terezi: Dreams are coming true

When people laugh but not at you!

I'm not alone! I'm not afraid!

I feel like Bono at Live Aid!

 

Chorus: The hive is ours,

It's time for big fun! Big fun!

Let's use their showers,

That sounds like big fun! Big fun!

Crack open one more case!

 

_ Terezi observes couple making out _

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : 1 TH1NK TH4T'S WH4T TH3Y C4LL "TH1RD B4S3."

 

Chorus, _sung_ : Big fun! Big fun! Big fun!

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : TH4T 4CTU4LLY LOOKS L1K3 -

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : Big fun! Big fun! Big fun!

 

_ Gamzee holds up a pig pinata with a sign that says "Jefferson Razorbacks" _

 

Gamzee,  _ spoken _ : AlL rIgHt, PeOpLe! WhAt Is WeStErBeRg GoNnA dO tO tHe RaZoRbAcKs At SuNdAy'S gAmE?

 

_ Equius mimes sex with the pinata _

 

Equius: D→ Gonna make 'em go

Whee! Whee! Whee! Whee!

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : Big fun! Big fun!

 

Eridan,  _ spoken _ : WWay to showw maturity!

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : Big fun! Big fun!

 

_ Equius grabs Eridan by the hips and does to him what he's been doing to the pinata _

 

Eridan,  _ spoken _ : Quit it jackass, get off of me!

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : Big fun! Big fun!

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : YO! 3QU1US! 3M3RG3NCY!

1 JUST S4W SOM3 FR3SHM3N SN34K1NG OV3R TH3 POOL F3NC3!

 

Equius: D→ I hate freshmen! Where are you little lowb100ds? I'm coming for you!...

 

Terezi: YOU OK4Y?

 

Eridan: I didn't need your help.

 

_ Eridan gives Terezi the finger _

 

Terezi: 4W, TH4NKS, 3R1D4N, BUT 1 DON'T N33D TO VOM1T R1GHT NOW.

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : The party's hot, hot, hot.

It's time for big fun! Big fun!

 

Gamzee,  _ spoken _ : YoU nEeD a JeLlO sHoT!

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : We're having big fun! Big fun!

 

_ Aradia arrives at the party _

 

Vriska,  _ spoken _ : Aradia Mega-whore, in the flesh.

 

Eridan: Here comes the Cootie Squad.

WWe should -

 

Vriska: Shut up, Eridan.

 

Eridan: Sorry, VVris.

 

Feferi: Look w)(o's with )(er -- Oh, my Gog!

 

_ Points to Terezi _

 

Highbloods,  _ sung _ : Dang! Dang! Diggety-dang-a-dang!

Dang-dang! Diggety-dang-a-dang!

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : 1 C4N'T B3L13V3 YOU 4CTU4LLY C4M3.

 

Aradia: it's exciting, right? excuse me, i want t0 say hell0 t0 equius. i b0ought sparkling cider.

 

Vriska,  _ sung _ : Showing up here took some guts.

Time to rip them out.

 

_ Eridan holds up the pig piñata _

 

Eridan: Well, who's this snoutbeast remind you of?

Especially the torso.

 

Vriska: Hah!

 

Highbloods: Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang!

Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang!

 

_ Highbloods exit with the pinata, Aradia approaches Equius _

 

Equius,  _ spoken _ : D→ Where the hell are those freshman?

 

Aradia: hi, equius. i wasn't g0nna c0me, but since y0u t00k the time t0 write that sweet n0te...

 

_ Hands Equius the sparkling cider _

 

Equius: D→ What note? Why'd You gotta be so weird all the time? 

People wouldn't hate you so much if you acted normal.

 

_ Chugs and spits the cider _

 

There's no alcohol in here!

Are you trying to poison me?

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang

Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang

Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang

Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang

Diggety-dang-a-dang!

The lusii are gone,

It's time for big fun! Big fun!

We're up till dawn having some big fun! Big fun!

So let the speakers blow, they'll buy another stereo.

Our folks got no clue 'bout all the shit their children do.

Why are they surprised?

Whenever we're unsupervised,

It's big fun! Big fun!

Big fun! Big fun! Big fun! Whooo!


	6. Dead Troll Walking

Terezi,  _ sung _ :

The demon queen of high school has decreed it:

She says Monday, 8 am, I will be deleted

They'll hunt me down in study hall,

Stuff and mount me on the wall;

Thirty hours to live - how shall i spend them?

I don't have to stay and die like cattle;

I could change my name and ride up to Seattle

But I don't own a motorbike -

_ Spoken _

W41T

_ Sung _

Here's an option that I like:

Spend those thirty hours gettin'... freakay!

Yeah!

I need it hard,

I'm a dead girl walking!

I'm in your yard,

I'm a dead girl walking!

Before they punch my clock,

I'm snappin' off your window lock.

Got no time to knock

I'm a dead girl walking!

 

_ Terezi climbs through Karkat's window _

 

Karkat,  _ spoken _ : TEREZI? WHAT'RE YOU DOING IN MY BLOCK?

 

Terezi: SHHHH.

_ Sung _

Sorry, but I really had to wake you;

See, I decided I must ride you till I break you.

'Cause Highbloods say I gots to go;

You're my last meal on death row.

Shut your mouth and lose them tighty-whities!

Come on!

Tonight I'm yours,

I'm a dead troll walking!

Get on all fours,

Kiss this dead troll walking!

Let's go, you know the drill;

I'm hot and pissed and on the pill.

Bow down to the will of a dead troll walking!

And you know, you know, you know

it's 'cause you're beautiful.

You say you're numb inside,

But I can't agree.

So the world's unfair,

Keep it locked out there...

In here it's beautiful.

Let's make this beautiful!

 

Karkat,  _ spoken _ : THAT WORKS FOR ME -

 

_ Terezi kisses him hard. They make out. _

 

Terezi,  _ sung _ : Yeah! Full steam ahead!

Take this dead troll walking

 

Karkat: How'd you find my address?

 

Terezi: Let's break the coon!

Rock this dead troll walking!

 

Karkat: I think you spilled the slime

 

Terezi: No sleep today for you,

Better chug that Mountain Dew!

 

Karkat: Okay, okay.

 

Terezi: Get your ass in gear,

Make this whole town disappear!

 

Karkat: Okay, okay!

 

Terezi: Slap me! Pull my hair,

Touch me there and there and there

But no more talking!

 

Karkat: Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey!

Yeah, yeah!

 

Terezi: Love this dead troll walking…

 

Terezi and Karkat: Love this dead troll walking

 

Karkat: Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey! Wait, wait!

 

Terezi: Love this dead troll...

 

Terezi and Karkat: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

 

Karkat,  _ spoken _ : OW!

  
Terezi and Karkat,  _ sung _ : Yeah!!!


	7. Me Inside of Me

Karkat,  _ spoken _ : THINK. LONG AND HARD. CONJURE HER UP IN YOUR MIND. WHAT WOULD SHE SAY? 

WHAT IS HER FINAL STATEMENT TO A COLD, UNCARING PLANET?

 

Terezi,  _ sung _ : "Dear world...

Believe it or not, I knew about fear;

I knew the way loneliness stung.

I hid behind smiles and crazy hot clothes;

I learned to kiss boys with my tongue."

 

Karkat,  _ spoken _ : THAT'S GOOD.

 

Terezi,  _ sung _ :  "But oh, the world, it held me down;

it weighed like a concrete prom queen crown."

 

_ Dead Vriska sits up. Only Terezi sees her _

 

Vriska: No one thinks a pretty troll has feelings.

No one gets their insecurity.

I am more than shoulder pads and makeup.

No one sees the me inside of me.

_ Spoken _

Jegus, you're m8king me sound like Air Supply.

 

Karkat: KEEP GOING. THIS HAS TO BE GOOD ENOUGH TO FOOL THE COPS.

 

_ Two Policemen, Calliope and Caliborn, investigate the crime scene _

 

Caliborn: whoa! is it mUrder?

 

Calliope: NO, LOOK. HERE'S A SuICIDE NOTE.

 

Terezi, Vriska, Cops,  _ sung _ : "They couldn't see past my rockstar mystique,

They wouldn't dare look in my eyes.

But just underneath was a terrified girl

who clings to her pillow and cries!

My looks were just like prison bars;

they've left me a myriad of scars."

 

Vriska,  _ spoken _ : "Myri8d." Nice.

 

_ The Cops hand the suicide note to John _

 

Terezi, Vriska, Cops,  _ sung _ : "No one thinks a pretty girl has substance. That's the curse of popularity."

 

John: "I am more than just a source of handjobs."

 

Terezi, Vriska, John, Cops: "No one sees the me inside of me."

 

_ The Cops exit. John joins Meulin, Dave and some faculty _

 

John,  _ spoken _ :  vriska serket is not your everyday suicide.

 

Dave: You should cancel classes.

 

John: no way, coach. 

i send the kids home before lunch and the switchboard'll light up like a christmas tree.

 

Ms. Leijon: Our children are dying. 

I suggest we get everyone into the cafeteria and just talk. And feel. Together.

 

Dave:  Thank you, Ms. Leijon. Call me when the shuttle lands.

 

Ms. Leijon: I'm telling you we all misjudged Vriska Serket. 

This is the loveliest suicide not I've ever read.

 

Ms. Leijon and Vriska,  _ sung _ : "Box up my clothing for Goodwill,

and give the poor my Nordic Track.

Donate my car to crippled kids,

Or to those ghetto moms on crack.

Give them my hats and my CDs,

my pumps and my flats, my three TVs!"

 

Vriska, Faculty: "No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings;

But I weep for all I failed to be.

Maybe I can help the world by leaving;

Maybe that the me inside of me."

 

John,  _ spoken _ : aw, hell. long weekend for everybody!

 

_ Teachers cheer, as do arriving students _

 

Ms. Leijon: Not so fast, kids. They're refueling the buses, which gives us a solid half-hour of healing.  I've mimeographed copies of the suicide note so you can feel Vriska's anguish.

 

Feferi,  _ sung _ : I never knew about her pain.

 

Ms.Leijon,  _ spoken _ : Go on!

 

Sollux,  _ sung _ : Her life had hit a rocky patch.

 

Ms. Leijon,  _ spoken _ : Feel!

 

Rose,  _ sung _ : Deep down she wasn't cruel or vain -

 

Ms. Leijon,  _ spoken _ : Heal!

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : She didn't mean to be such a snatch!

 

Ms. Leijon,  _ spoken _ : Terezi, you're very quiet. What's on your mind.

 

Terezi: UH, M4YB3 VR1SK4 R34L1Z3D TH4T 1N ORD3R TO B3 H4PPY SH3 H4D TO G1V3 UP H3R POW3R. 

4ND TH3 ONLY W4Y TO DO TH4T W4S... D34TH.

 

Ms. Leijon: My God.

_ Sung _

Look what we've done.

We're breaking through!

Vriska would be so proud of you!

 

Chorus, : And you! And you! And you! And you!

No one thinks a pretty girl can touch you...

 

Nepeta,  _ spoken _ : :33< Vriska touching me...

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : But she's made us better than we were.

Vriska's dead, but she will live inside me, and I'll be the me inside of her...

 

Ms. Leijon,  _ spoken _ : Holy crap! This is awesome!

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : Vriska cried, our sins fell on her shoulders!

 

Ms. Leijon,  _ spoken _ : Jegus Christ!

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : Vriska died, so we could all be free!

 

Ms. Leijon,  _ spoken _ : I'm bigger than Troll John Lennon!

 

Chorus,  _ sung variously _ : Vriska's gone, but she will live forever!

She's the dove that sings outside my window!

She's the twin from whom I'm separated!

She's the horse I never got for Christmas!

Vriska sees the me inside of me!

Vriska is the me inside of me!

The me inside of... me!


	8. Blue

Equius,  _ spoken _ : D→ Heyyyyy, 'Rezi.

 

Terezi: UGH. YOU GOT 4 L3FT H4ND? US3 1T.

 

Gamzee: DoN't TaLk MeAn LiKe ThAt.

 

Equius: D→ You'll hurt their feelings.

_ Sung _

You make my bulge so blue.

 

Gamzee: You hurt it badly.

 

Equius: You make my bulge so blue.

 

Gamzee: It’s hangin' sadly.

 

Equius: What did they do to you that you hate them so?

 

Gamzee: Don't run from me --

It’s all beat up

 

Equius and Gamzee: Like a tackling dummy!

 

Gamzee: It longs for your embrace!

 

Equius: They're warm like mittens!

 

Gamzee: They'll curl up on your face

 

Equius: and purr like meowbeasts!

 

Gamzee: You make my bulge so blue!

 

Gamzee and Equius: Just look at it grow...

 

Equius: We're beggin' you!

 

Gamzee and Equius: Don't make my bulge so blue.

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : Feferi...? Eridan...? Open the door.

 

Feferi and Eridan,  _ sung _ : Oh no, oh no no no!

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : Open the door!

 

Feferi and Eridan,  _ sung _ : Oh no, oh no no no!

 

Gamzee: You make my bulge so blue, so please say hello!

 

Equius: Hold 'em!

 

Gamzee: Enfold 'em,

 

Gamzee and Equius: and never let go!

 

Gamzee: Once you were geeky and nerdy,

 

Equius: but they knew you're dirty.

 

Gamzee: You've set them on fire,

 

Equius and Gamzee: Whatever you require they'll do!

So take 'em home to meet your lusii!

 

Equius: They'll wear a suit and tie,

 

Gamzee: and a fancy collar!

 

Equius: They'll sing a lullaby:

 

Equius and Gamzee: La la la la la!

Please make these bulges not blue,

 

Equius: Just for a while!

 

Gamzee: Can't wait till later,

 

Gamzee and Equius: My pants are rubbin' like a hot cheese grater!

 

_ Terezi offers a bottle to Equius _

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : LOOK. BOOZ3. DR1NK!

 

Gamzee: Aw, ThAnK yOu So MuCh!

 

Terezi: YOU'R3 W3LCOM3.

 

_ Equius and Gamzee chug from the bottle _

 

Equius,  _ sung _ : They will protect you.

 

Gamzee: Defend you.

 

Equius: Respect you.

 

Gamzee: Befriend you --

 

Equius: Like Winnie-the-Pooh!

 

Eridan and Feferi: Winnie-the-Pooh!

 

Gamzee: Baby baby baby it’s so blue!

 

Equius: My bulge will work for you.

 

Gamzee: They will obey ya!

 

Equius: They really need rescue!

 

Gamzee: Like Princess Leia!

 

Equius and Gamzee: Baby, you gots to come through.

 

Gamzee: Teach them to smile!

 

Equius, Feferi and Eridan: You got no clue how much these two depend on you --

Please help them through!

 

Equius and Gamzee: My bulge is in your court!

 

Feferi and Eridan: My bulge is in your court!

 

Equius and Gamzee: Yeah!

 

Feferi and Eridan: You make them bulges so blue!

 

Equius and Gamzee: You make my bulge so blue!

 

Feferi and Eridan: You make my bulge so blue!

 

Equius and Gamzee: Ow! Ow!

 

Feferi and Eridan: You make them bulges so blue!

 

Equius and Gamzee: You make my bulges so blue!

 

Feferi and Eridan: You make my bulges so blue!

You shake them, you quake them,

 

Equius and Gamzee: Good Gog!

 

Feferi and Eridan: You break --

 

Equius and Gamzee: My bulge!

You make my bulge so blue!

 

Feferi and Eridan: You make my bulge so blue!

You take them,

 

Equius and Gamzee: Lookit! Lookit! Lookit! Lookit!

 

Feferi and Eridan: You bake them, Chrissake --

 

Feferi, Eridan, Gamzee and Equius: You make my bulge so blue!

Please make their dreams come true, and make these bulges not blue!


	9. Blue (reprise)

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : WH4T THR33W4Y? NOTH1NG H4PP3N3D!

 

Eridan: I remember differently. I seem to remember there wwas a-

 

Gamzee and Equius,  _ sung _ :

Big sword fight in her mouth!

 

Dave: And she allowed it?

 

Equius and Gamzee: Big sword fight in her mouth...

 

Eridan and Feferi: That sure sounds crowded!

 

Gamzee: And then we both went south

 

Equius: And planted our flags

 

Gamzee: My big salami

 

Equius and Gamzee: Bent her over like origami!

 

Chorus: Woah, Woah, Woah

Wooooaaaahh!

 

Equius and Gamzee: Everybody was

 

Chorus: Sword fighting in her mouth

 

Equius, Gamzee, Eridan and Feferi: Yes we're convinced it

 

Chorus: Went down right in her mouth

 

Feferi: I hope she rinsed it!

 

Gamzee and Eridan: She blew and blew and blew

 

Chorus: Like they were balloons

 

Gamzee: She lapped us up

 

Equius: Like a hearty stew

 

Equius and Gamzee: She bit off more than she could chew...

 

Chorus: Woah, woah...

 

Eridan: She'll do the same for you!

 

Chorus: She blew not one troll but two

She blew and blew and blew

 

Eridan: Terezi blew two!

 

Chorus: She blew not one troll but two

She's like some freak in a zoo

 

Eridan: If her lusus only knew she blew two!

 

Chorus: And every word is true

Terezi blew two!

 

Eridan: Yeaaaahhhhh!


	10. Our Love is Gog

Karkat,  _ sung _ : They made you cry, but that will end tonight.

You are the only thing that's right about this broken world.

Go on and cry, but when the morning comes,

We'll burn it down and then

We'll build the world again...

Our love is Gog.

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : 4R3 YOU OK4Y?

 

Karkat,  _ sung _ : I was alone.

I was a frozen lake, but then you melted me awake;

See, now I'm crying too.

You're not alone.

 

Terezi: You're not alone...

 

Karkat: And when the morning comes,

 

Terezi: When the morning comes...

 

Karkat: We'll burn away that tear, and raise our city here...

 

Terezi: Raise our city here...

 

Terezi and Karkat: Our love is Gog.

 

Gamzee,  _ spoken _ : YeAh-Lo?

 

Terezi: H1, G4MZ33, 1T'S T3R3Z1... HOW D1D YOU GUYS KNOW 1T W4S 4 F4NT4SY OF M1N3 TO H4V3 TWO TROLLS 4T ONC3?

 

Gamzee: WoW, uHh... LuCkY gUeSs?

 

Terezi: 1F YOU W4NT 1T TO COM3 TRU3, M33T M3 4T TH3 C3M3T3RY. 4T SUNS3T.

 

_ Terezi hangs up _

 

Gamzee: FrEe PuSsY!

 

Equius: D→ And we don't even have to buy it a pizza!

 

Gamzee: PuNcH iT iN!

 

Karkat,  _ sung _ : We can start and finish wars,

 

Karkat and Terezi: We're what killed the dinosaurs.

We're the asteroid that's overdue.

The dinosaurs choked on the dust,

they died because Gog said they must.

The new world needed room

for me and you.

 

Karkat: I worship you.

I'd trade my life for yours.

They all will disappear,

we'll plant our garden here:

Our love is Gog.

 

Terezi and Karkat,  _ variously repeating _ : Our love is Gog.

 

_ Karkat opens up a box and pulls out two pistols. Terezi stares in horrified fascination _

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : WHO4. 1S TH4T R34L?

 

Karkat: YEAH, BUT WE'RE FILLING IT WITH "ICH LUGE" BULLETS.

 

Terezi: 1CH LUG3...? WH4T?

 

Karkat: MY ANCESTOR SCORED THEM IN THE REBELLION. THEY CONTAIN A POWERFUL TRANQUILIZER. 

THE REBELS USED THEM TO FAKE THEIR OWN SUICIDES WHEN THE IMPERIAL FORCES INVADED THEIR BASE. 

WE WILL USE THEM TO KNOCK OUT EQUIUS AND GAMZEE LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A SUICIDE PACT. COMPLETE WITH A FORGED SUICIDE NOTE.

 

_ Lights up on Equius and Gamzee embracing _

 

Gamzee: "EqUiUs AnD i DiEd BeCaUsE wE hAd To HiDe OuR gAy FoRbIdDeN mAtEsPrItShIp FrOm A mIsApPrOvInG wOrLd."

 

Karkat,  _ sung _ : And when the morning comes, they'll both be laughing stocks...

 

Karkat and Terezi: So let's go hunt some jocks!

 

_ Cemetery at dawn. Equius and Gamzee wait for Terezi _

 

Gamzee,  _ spoken _ : Hi... VeRoNiCa.

 

Equius: D→ Uh... So do we just whip it out or what?

 

Terezi: T4K3 1T SLOW, 3QU1US. STR1P FOR M3.

 

Gamzee: WhAt AbOuT yOu?

 

Terezi: 1 W4S HOP1NG YOU'D R1P MY CLOTH3S OFF M3, SPORT. COUNT OF THR33.

 

_ Equius and Gamzee stand awkwardly in their underpants. Equius giggles in anticipation _

 

Terezi: ON3... TWO...

 

Karkat: THREE.

 

Karkat steps out and shoots Equius. Terezi fires at Gamzee, missing him. Gamzee runs

 

Gamzee: AaAuGh! HoLy CrAp!

 

Karkat: STAY THERE. I'LL GET HIM!

GAMZEE? GAMZEE!

 

Gamzee: HoLy CrAp! YoU kIlLeD mY mOiRaIl!

 

_ Terezi, suddenly worried, kicks Equius with her foot _

 

Terezi: 3QU1US? YOU'R3 JUST UNCONSC1OUS, R1GHT?

3QU1US? 3QU1US!

 

_ Karkat chases Gamzee, who tries to escape by scaling a chain-link fence _

 

Karkat: GET OFF THE FENCE! GET OFF THE DAMN FENCE!

 

Gamzee: I dOn'T uNdErStAnD!

 

Karkat,  _ sung _ : We can start and finish wars.

We're what killed the dinosaurs.

We're the asteroid that's overdue.

 

Gamzee,  _ spoken _ : StOp BeInG a DiCk!

 

Karkat,  _ sung _ : The dinosaurs will turn to dust.

 

Gamzee,  _ spoken _ : WhAt DoEs ThAt MeAn?!

 

Karkat,  _ sung _ : They'll die because we say they must.

 

_ Karkat fires; Gamzee dies. Terezi runs up _

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : WH4T TH3 FUCK H4V3 YOU DON3?!

 

Karkat,  _ sung _ : I worship you.

I'd trade my life for yours.

We'll make them disappear.

We'll plant our garden here.

 

_ Karkat holds out his hand _

 

Karkat,  _ repeating _ : Our love is Gog.

 

_ Karkat holds Terezi in his arms as she sobs in shock and horror _

 

Terezi: Our love is Gog...

 

Karkat: Our love is Gog.

 

Terezi: Our love is Gog...

 

Terezi and Karkat: Our love is Gog!


	11. Prom or Hell

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : D34R D14RY,

_ Sung _ :

I'm going steady

Mostly he's awesome

If a bit too "rock and roll"

Lately he's bumped off

Three of my classmates

God, have mercy on my soul

They were just seventeen

They still had room to grow

They could have turned out good

And now we'll never know

Karkat,  _ spoken _ : THERE’S BEEN A DISTINCT LACK OF TEENAGE TROLLS CLIMBING THROUGH MY BEDROOM WINDOW LATELY

Terezi: D34R D14RY,

MY T33N 4NGST BULLSH1T H4S 4 BODY COUNT


	12. Dead Gay Charge

Horuss,  _ spoken _ : You wait just a minute, Kurloz! 

It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world a place our trolls could not live in!

_ Sung _

They were not dirty!

They were not wrong!

They were two lonely verses in the Lord's great song!

 

Kurloz,  _ spoken _ : Our charges were pansies, Horuss!

 

Horuss,  _ sung _ : Yes! My charge's a homosexual, and that don't scare me none --

I want the world to know...

I love my dead gay charge!

I've been thinking. Praying.  Reading some magazines. And it's time we opened our eyes.

Well, the good Lord made the universe

The Lord created man.

And I believe it's all a part of his gigantic plan.

I know Gog has a reason for each mountain and each flower, and why he chose to let our trolls get busy in the ablution block!

They were not dirty --

They were not fruits!

They were just two stray laces in the Lord's big boots.

Well, I never cared for homos much until I reared me one, but now I've learned to love...

I love my dead gay charge!

 

Chorus: He loves his charge, he loves his charge!

His dead gay charge!

 

Horuss: Now, I say my charge's in heaven and he's tanning by the pool.

The cherubim walk him and him, and Jegus says it's cool!!

They don't have crime or hatred, there's no bigotry or cursin' --

Just friendly fellows dressed up like their fav'rite village person!

They were not dirty --

They just had flair!

They were two bright red ribbons in the Lord's long hair.

Well, I used to see a homo and go reachin' for my gun, but now I've learned to love...

And furthermore! --

(to Kurloz)

These trolls were brave as hell!

These trolls, they knew damn well!

Those folks would judge 'em, they were desperate to be free!

They took a rebel stance, stripped to their underpants!

Kurloz, I can't believe that you still refuse to get a clue, after all that we been through --

_ Spoken _

I'm talking you and me! In the summer of '83.

 

_ Chorus gasps _

 

Kurloz: That.... was one hell of a fishing trip.

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

They were not dirty - Whoa!

And not perverse -- No no!

They were two stray rhinestones on the Lord's big purse!

 

Horuss and Kurloz: Our jobs are now continuing that work that they begun!

 

Chorus: 'Cause now we love, love, love!

We love your dead --

 

Horuss and Kurloz: They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings!

They grab a mate and roller skate while Judy Garland sings!

They live a playful afterlife that's fancy-free and reckless!

 

Kurloz: They swing upon the pearly gates --

Chorus, Horuss and Kurloz: And wear a pearly necklace!

Whoo!

They were not dirty!

They were good trolls!

And now they're happy bear cubs in the Lord's big den!

 

Horuss and Kurloz: Go forth and love each other now, like our trolls would have done.

 

Chorus: We'll teach the world to love...

 

Horuss and Kurloz: I love my dead gay charge!

My charge! My charge!

 

Chorus: Not half bad, your dead gay charge!

Wish I had your dead gay charge!

Thank you, dancestors, for your...

 

Chorus, Horuss and Kurloz: Dead gay charge!


	13. Seven Sweeps

Terezi,  _ sung _ : Fine, we’re damaged

Really damaged

But that does not make us wise

We’re not special, we’re not different

We don’t choose who lives or dies

Let’s be normal, see bad movies

Sneak a beer and watch tv

We’ll bake brownies or go bowling

Don’t you want a life with me?

Can we be seven sweeps?

That’s all I want to do

If you could let me in

I could be good with you

People hurt us

 

Karkat: Or they vanish

 

Terezi: And you’re right that really blows

But we let go

 

Karkat: Take a deep breath

 

Terezi: Then go buy some summer clothes

We'll go camping

 

Karkat: Play some poker

 

Terezi: And we’ll eat some chilli fries

Maybe prom night

 

Karkat: Maybe dancing

 

Terezi: Don't stop looking in my eyes

 

Karkat: Your eyes

 

Karkat and Terezi: Can't we be seven sweeps

Is that so hard to do?

If you could let me in

I could be good with you

Let us be sevensweeps

If we still got the right

 

Terezi: So what’s it gonna be

I wanna be with you 

 

Karkat: Wanna be with you

 

Terezi: I wanna be with you

 

Karkat and Terezi: Today

 

Terezi: Yeah we’re damaged,

 

Karkat: Badly damaged

 

Terezi and Karkat: But your love’s too good to lose

 

Terezi: Hold me tighter

 

Karkat: Even closer

 

Terezi: I’ll stay if I’m what you choose

 

Karkat: Can we be seventeen?

 

Terezi: If I am what you choose

 

Karkat: If we still have the right

 

Terezi: Because you’re the one I choose

 

Karkat: You’re the one I choose

 

Terezi and Karkat: You’re the one I choose.


	14. Shine a Light

Ms. Leijon,  _ sung _ : Deep inside of everyone

There's a hot ball of shame

Guilt, regret, anxiety,

Fears we dare not name.

But, if we show the ugly parts

That we hide away,

They turn out to be beautiful

By the light of moons.

Why not,

 

Chorus: Shine, shine, shine a light,

 

Ms. Leijon: On your deepest fears!

 

Chorus: Let in moonlight now.

 

Ms. Leijon: And your pain will disappear!

 

Chorus: Shine, shine, shine.

 

Ms. Leijon: And your scars and your flaws,

 

Chorus: Will look lovely because you shine!

 

Ms. Leijon: You shine a light.

 

Chorus: Shine, shine, shine a light.

Shine, shine, shine a light.

 

Rose: Everyday's a battlefield

When pride's on the line.

 

Dave: I attack your weakness

 

Rose and Dave: And pray you don't see mine.

 

Tavros: But if i share my ugly parts,

 

Tavros & Rose & Ms. Leijon: And you show me yours.

Our love can knock our walls down

And unlock all our doors.

 

Ms. Leijon and Chorus: Go on and,

Shine, shine, shine a light,

 

Ms. Leijon: On your deepest fears!

 

Chorus: Let in moonlight now.

 

Ms. Leijon: And your pain will disappear!

 

Ms. Leijon,  _ spoken _ : Who wants to share what's in their heart?

No volunteers, fine, i'll start,

_ Sung _

My name's Meulin.

I live alone.

My matesprit left,

My grubs are grown.

In the 60's love was free,

That did not work out well for me.

The revolution came and went

Tried to change the world,

Barely made a dent.

I have struggled with despair.

I've joined a cult,

Chopped off my hair.

I chant, I prayed, but gog's not there.

So Kankri! I'm ending our affair!

_ Spoken _

And i faked it, every, single time.

Woo, it feels fan-freaking-tastic

1, 2 take me home kids!

 

Chorus,  _ singing _ : Shine, shine, shine a light,

 

Ms. Leijon: On your deepest fears!

 

Chorus: Let in moonlight now.

 

Ms. Leijon: And your pain will disappear!

 

Chorus: Shine, shine, shine.

 

Ms. Leijon: And your scars and your flaws,

 

Chorus: Aah, aah, aah!

 

Ms. Leijon: Will look lovely because you shine!

 

Ms. Leijon: You shine, you shine a liiiiiiiiiiiight.

 

Ms. Leijon and Chorus: Shine, shine, shine a light.

Shine, shine, shine a light.

Shine, shine, shine a light.

Shine, shine, shine a light.

Shine, shine, shine a light.

Shine, shine, shine a light.

Shine, shine, shine a light.

Shine a light!

 

Ms. Leijon: Yeah!


	15. Lifeboat

Feferi,  _ sung _ : I float in a boat

In a raging black ocean

Low in the water

With nowhere to go

The tiniest lifeboat

With trolls I know

Cold, clammy, and crowded

The ptrolls smell desperate

We'll sink any minute

So someone must go

The tiniest lifeboat

With the trolls I know

Everyone's pushing

Everyone's fighting

Storms are approaching

There's nowhere to hide

If I say the wrong thing

Or I wear the wrong outfit

They'll throw me right over the side

I'm hugging my knees

And the captain is pointing

Well who made him captain?

Still, the weakest must go

The tiniest lifeboat

Full of trolls I know

The tiniest lifeboat

Full of trolls I know


	16. Shine a Light (Reprise)

Feferi,  _ spoken _ : Stupid grub proof caps!

 

Eridan: Aww look, evverybody, Fef is goin’ to,

 

Eridan and Chorus,  _ sung _ : Whine, whine, whine all night!

 

Eridan: You don't deserve to live!

 

Eridan and Chorus: Why not kill yourself!

 

Eridan: Here have a sedative.

 

Eridan and Chorus: Whine, whine, whine!

 

Eridan: Like there's no Santa Clause

 

Chorus: Ooh ooh

 

Eridan and Chorus: You're pathetic because you whine!

 

Eridan:

You whine all night!

 

Eridan: Your ass is off the team.

Go on and bitch and moan.

You don't deserve to dream

You're gonna die alone

 

Chorus: Whine, whine, whine, whine!

 

Eridan and Chorus: Die alone, die alone,

Die alone, die alone.


	17. Kindergarten Matesprit

Aradia,  _ sung _ : There was a troll I met in kindergarten

He was sweet, he said that I was smart

He was good at sports and people liked him

And at nap time once we shared a mat

I didn't sleep I sat and watched him breathing

Watched him dream for nearly half an hour

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Then he woke up

He pulled a scab off one time playing kick ball

Kissed me quick then pressed it in my hand

I took that scab and put it in a locket

All year long I wore it near my heart

He didn't care if I was thin or pretty

And he was mine until we hit first grade

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Then he woke up

Last night I dreamed a hoofbeast with wings

Flew down into my home room

On its back there he sat

And he held out his arm

So we sailed above the gym

Across the faculty parking lot

My kindergarten matesprit and I

And a horse with wings

Now we're all grown up and we know better

Now we recognize the way things are

Certain trolls are just for kindergarten

Certain trolls are meant to be alone

But I believe any dream worth having

Is a dream that should not have to end

So I'll build a dream that I can live in

And this time I'm never waking up

And we'll soar above the trees

Over cars and croquet lawns

Past the church and the lake

And the tri-county mall

We will fly through the dawn

To a new kindergarten

Where nap time is centuries long

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Ooh ooh


	18. Yo Troll

Eridan,  _ spoken _ : Aradia Mega-wwhore took a belly flop off the Old Mill Bridge last night holding a suicide note.

 

Terezi: OH MY GOG. 1S SH3 D34D—?

 

Eridan: Just some broken bones. 

Just another geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably.

 

Vriska, Equius and Gamzee,  _ sung _ : Yo troll, keep it together

I knew you would come far

Now you’re truly a Highblood

Smell how gangsta you are.

 

_ Lights up on Aradia in a hospital bed _

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : 4R4D14, 1’M SO SORRY

 

Vriska, Equius and Gamzee,  _ sung _ : Yo troll, feel a bit punchy?

She’s not looking so well

Still, you’ve earned that red scrunchie

Come join Vriska in hell

 

_ Lights change, Terezi runs into her dancestor and her matesprit _

 

Mituna,  _ spoken _ : Where have you been?

 

Latula: We’ve been worried sick! Your friend Karkat stopped by. He told us everything

 

Terezi: 3V3RYTH1NG?

 

Mituna: Your depression? Your thoughts of suicide?

 

Latula: He even showed us your copy of Moby Dick.

 

Vriska: He’s got your handwriting down c8ld.

 

Latula: Please, honey. Talk to us!

 

Terezi: NO, YOU WOULDN’T UND3RST4ND!

 

Latula: Try me! I’ve experienced everything you’re going through right now.

 

Vriska, Gamzee and Equius,  _ sung _ : Guess who’s right down the block?

 

Latula,  _ spoken _ : Your problems seem like life and death—

 

Vriska, Gamzee and Equius,  _ sung _ : Guess who’s climbing the stairs?

 

Latula,  _ spoken _ : I promise, they’re not.

 

Vriska, Equius, and Gamzee,  _ sung _ : Guess who’s picking your lock?

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : YOU DON’T KNOW WH4T MY WORLD LOOKS L1K3!

 

Vriska, Equius and Gamzee,  _ sung _ : Time’s up! Go say your prayers!

 

Latula,  _ spoken _ : What did I say?!

 

Vriska, Equius and Gamzee,  _ sung _ : Terezi’s running on, running on fumes now

Terezi’s totally fried

Terezi’s gotta be trippin’ on ‘schrooms now,

Thinking that she can hide

Terezi’s done for, there’s no doubt now,

Notify next of kin!

Terezi’s trying to keep him out now

Too late!

He got in!

 

Karkat,  _ spoken _ : KNOCK! KNOCK! SORRY TO COME THROUGH THE WINDOW. 

DREADFUL ETIQUETTE, I KNOW!

 

Terezi: G3T OUT OF MY H1V3!


	19. Meant to Be Yours

Karkat,  _ spoken _ : ALL IS FORGIVEN BABY! COME ON, GET DRESSED. YOU'RE MY DATE TO THE PEP RALLY TONIGHT!

_ Sung _

You chucked me out like I was trash,

For that you should be dead—

But! But! But!

Then it hit me like a flash,

What if high school went away instead’

Those assholes are the key!

They’re keeping you away from me!

They made you blind, messed up your mind

But I can set you free!

You left me and I fell apart,

I punched the wall and cried—

Bam! Bam! Bam!

Then I found you changed my pumper and set loose all that turmoil shit inside!

And so I built a bomb

Tonight our school is Paradox Space!

Let’s guarantee they never see their senior prom!

I was meant to be yours!

We were meant to be one!

Don’t give up on me now!

Finish what we’ve begun!

I was meant to be yours!

So when the high school gym goes boom with everyone inside—

Pchw! Pchw! Pchw!

In the rubble of their tomb

We’ll plant this note explaining why they died!

 

Karkat and Chorus,  _ spoken _ : We, the students of Westerburg High will die. Our burnt bodies may finally get through to you. Your society churns out slaves and blanks

No thanks. Signed the Students of Westerburg High

‘Goodbye.’

 

Karkat,  _ sung _ : We’ll watch the smoke pour out the doors.

Bring marshmallows,

We’ll make s’mores!

We can smile and cuddle while the fire roars!

I was meant to be yours!

We were meant to be one!

I can’t take it alone!

Finish what we’ve begun!

You were meant to be mine!

I am all that you need!

You carved open my pumper!

Can’t just leave me to bleed! 

Terezi, open the—open the door, please’

Terezi, open the door.

Terezi, can we not fight anymore’

Please, can we not fight anymore’

Terezi, sure, you’re scared,

I’ve been there. I can set you free!

Terezi, don’t make me come in there!

I’m gonna count to three!

_ Spoken _

ONE! TWO! FUCK IT!

 

_ Karkat kicks open the closet door. Terezi dangles from an improvised bedsheet noose _

 

Karkat: OH MY GOD! NO! TEREZI!

_ Sung _

Please don’t leave me alone

You were all I could trust

I can’t do this alone

 

Karkat and Chorus: Still I will if I must!

 

Latula,  _ spoken _ : Terezi!

I brought you a snack.

Terezi?


	20. Dead Troll Walking (reprise)

Terezi,  _ sung _ : I wanted someone strong who could protect me.

I let his anger fester and infect me.

His solution is a lie.

No one here deserves to die except for me and the monster I created.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Heads up, Karkat, I'm a dead troll walking!

 

Chorus: Hey yo Alternia High!

 

Terezi: Can't hide from me, I'm your dead troll walking!

 

Chorus: Hey yo Alternia High!

 

Terezi: And there's your final bell,

It's one more dance and then farewell,

Cheek to cheek in hell with a dead troll walkin'!

 

Feferi,  _ spoken _ : Come on, Alternia )(ig)(!

)(ere we go, )(ere we go now!

 

Ms. Leijon: Terezi! Karkat told us you'd just committed suicide!

 

Terezi: Y34H, W3LL, H3'S WRONG 4BOUT 4 LOT OF TH1NGS.

 

Ms. Leijon: I threw together a lovely tribute, especially given the short notice.

 

Terezi: MS. L31JON, WH4T'S UND3R TH3 GYM?

 

Ms. Leijon: The boiler room.

 

Terezi: TH4T'S 1T!

 

Ms. Leijon: Terezi, what's going on?

 

Terezi,  _ sung _ : Got no time to talk I'm a dead troll walking!

 

Chorus: Hey yo Alternia High!

Tell me what's that sound?

Here comes Alternia High

Comin' to put you in the ground!

Go go Alternia High!

Give a great big yell!

Alternia will knock you out

And send you straight to hell!

 

_ The boiler room. Karkat is planting a bomb. Terezi enters _

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : ST3P 4W4Y FROM TH3 BOMB.

 

Karkat: THIS LITTLE THING? I'D HARDLY CALL THIS A BOMB. THIS IS JUST TO SET OFF THE PACKS OF THERMALS UPSTAIRS IN THE GYM. THOSE ARE BOMBS. PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SEE THE ASHES OF ALTERNIA HIGH AND SAY THERE'S A SCHOOL THAT SELF-DESTRUCTED NOT BECAUSE SOCIETY DIDN'T CARE, BUT BECAUSE THAT SCHOOL WAS SOCIETY. THE ONLY PLACE HIGHBLOODS AND ARADIAS CAN TRULY GET ALONG IS IN HEAVEN!

 

Terezi,  _ sung _ : I wish your dancestor had been a little stronger.

I wish he stayed around a little longer.

I wish your lusus was good!

I wish grown-ups understood!

I wish we met before they convinced you life is war!

I wish you'd come with me—

 

Karkat: I wish I had more TNT!

 

_ Terezi whacks Karkat's gun hand with their cane _

 

Karkat,  _ spoken _ : AAH! JEGUS!

 

_ Karkat and Terezi scramble for the gun _

 

Chorus,  _ sung _ : Hey yo Alternia High!

Tell me what's that sound?

Here comes Alternia High

Comin' to put you in the ground!

Go go Alternia High!

Give a great big yell!

Alternia will knock you out

And send you straight to --


	21. I am Damaged

Karkat,  _ sung _ : I am damaged, far too damaged,

But you’re not beyond repair.

Stick around here,

Make things better

‘Cause you beat me fair and square

 

_ Karkat takes the bomb from Terezi _

 

Please stand back now

‘Little further.

Don’t know what this thing will do.

Hope you’ll miss me.

Wish you’d kiss me

Then you’d know I worship you.

I’ll trade my life for yours.

 

Terezi: Oh my Gog—

 

Karkat: And once I disappear,

 

Terezi: Wait, hold on—

 

Karkat: Clean up the mess down here.

 

Terezi: Not this way!

 

Karkat: Our love is Gog

Our love is Gog

Our love is Gog

Our love is Gog

Our love is Gog

 

Terezi,  _ spoken _ : S4Y H1 TO GOG

 

_ Explosion and blackout. Lights up on Westerberg students and faculty drawn by the noise. _

_ Veronica enters, face blackened, hair frazzled, jacket singed. _

_ Heather Duke and Heather McNamara rush up _

 

Feferi: W)(ere )(ave you been? People were saying you killed yours)(ellf.

 

Eridan: You look like hell.

 

Terezi: 1 JUST GOT B4CK.

 

_ She removes Eridan’s red scrunchie and ties it around her own hair _

 

Eridan: Hey! WWhat are you doin’?


	22. Seven Sweeps (reprise)

Terezi,  _ sung _ : Listen up folks, war is over, brand new sheriff's come to town   
We are done with acting evil, we will lay our weapons down   
We're all damaged, we're all frightened, we're all freaks but that's alright   
We'll endure it, we'll survive it, Aradia are you free today?   
  
Aradia,  _ spoken _ : what?

 

Terezi: UM MY D4T3 FOR TH3 P3P R4LLY K1ND4 BL3W-- M3 OFF.

SO 1 W4S WOND3R1NG 1F YOU W3R3N’T DO1NG 4NYTH1NG TOD4Y M4YB3 W3 COULD POP SOM3 POPCORN 4ND R3NT 4 VID3O. SOM3TH1NG W1TH 4 H4PPY 3ND1NG.

 

Aradia: are there any happy endings?   
  
Terezi,  _ sung _ : I can't promise no more Highbloods, high school may not ever end, still I miss you,    
I'd be honored, if you'd let me be your moirail.   
  
Aradia: My moirail   
  
Aradia and Terezi: We can be seven sweeps, we can learn how to chill,    
If no one loves me now, some day somebody will   
We can be seven sweeps, still time to make things right,    
One day we'll change the world, but let's kick back tonight   
  
Girls: Let's go be seven sweeps, take off our clothes and dance   
  
Boys: You know, you know, you know, we can be beautiful   
  
Girls: Act like we're all still grubs, cause this may be our final chance   
Always be seven sweeps, celebrate you and I, maybe we won't grow old   
  
Chorus: And maybe then we'll never die   
We'll make it beautiful

We'll make it beautiful   
Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful


End file.
